A 4-Step Guide to Healing Emotional Trauma

The ability to manage your emotions is absolutely crucial in the game of life. Many of us spend so much time living in a state of disease, that it practically becomes our typical way of being. And can you blame us? With so many problems in modern society, even just the stress of managing your finances alone can be enough to make you fall into a depression if you don’t know how to properly manage your emotions.

This is also one of the topics of occulted information that is not consciously taught in schools or by our parents, probably because they never really learned it themselves–they just figured it out as they went along in life (or probably never figured it out at all).

So let me just stop here for a minute to say something. Knowing how to do this is really damn important. This information could literally change your life, so please pay attention.

It’s nothing you don’t already know, per se, but when you become fully conscious of how emotional processing actually works, you will be able to use this method like running anti-virus software on your computer, and once you become practiced at it, you won’t even have to consciously think about doing it any more, it will just become second nature–like knowing how to go to the bathroom–only in this case, dumping your emotional garbage.

So here is how it works. Let’s say someone close to you recently passed away, and you’re having trouble dealing with it. Every time you think about that person, you fall into a depression, an abysmal feeling of hopelessness knowing that you will never be able to see that person again during this lifetime.

This feeling of despair is so overwhelming that it paralyzes you. You can’t go out, you can’t get out of bed, can’t exercise, whatever. It’s just too hard to deal with the pain.

This feeling could also come from other situations like going through a break-up with a romantic partner or having something humiliating happen to you in public. Whatever the case, the basic process for dealing with it is the same.

Step 1: Identify that You are Emotionally Disturbed

Before any healing can be done, you must first realize that you are not feeling well. This may seem obvious, but for someone who is commonly emotionally disturbed, it may not even be noticeable because you’ve become so numb that you’ve gotten used to it.

You will only have effectively identified this problem once you have officially become self-aware of it. Usually people just allow their emotions to run them blindly without any level of mindfulness, and that is simply not an effective, efficient, and responsible way to handle yourself. It’s literally what children do when they have temper tantrums–they scream and cry until they get tired out and pass out.

Well, guess what? There are plenty of adults who still do the same thing. Maybe they don’t scream and cry like a little kid, but they complain and nag and take it out on other people, or just let it stay pent up inside of them, which is actually much worse.

The method I’ll be teaching you is basically how to have a controlled temper tantrum–a way to release your pain in a mature and efficient manner.

Step 2: Confront Your Situation

Once you’ve become self-aware of your emotions and feelings, you are now in a position to confront your problem. This step is typically where most people falter, because they are too afraid to face their problems head-on. This is also where most people resort to their destructive habits for pain relief, such as drinking, smoking, binge eating, playing violent video games, masturbating, etc.

Do these “band-aids” actually help? Sure, they provide temporary relief, but what happens later on? If these problems aren’t sufficiently taken care of through the process of healing, they can literally stay inside of people for the rest of their lives.

And people say cigarettes, car accidents, and cancer are the top killers in the world.

Well, guess what? That’s not even remotely true. Stress is the biggest killer there ever was and ever will be. It’s the cause of every problem known in modern society.

Have you noticed that cultures with low-stress lifestyles have little to no suicides and longer lifespans? Gee, I wonder why!

So this is the moment of truth. You are aware that you have a problem, and either you can handle it like a child by ignoring it or taking it out on someone else, or you can handle it like an adult and make the choice to properly heal it.

The fact that most people are not able to choose the path of healing is the primary reason why planet Earth is still in a developmental retard. We have 20, 30, and 40-year-old so-called adults still taking out their anger and frustration from childhood on innocent people. Do not be one of these emotional retards! You are better than that.

Step 3: Create a Space of Healing

Okay, so at this point you’ve recognized that you have a problem by becoming self-aware of it, and you’ve made the courageous decision to confront it and heal it. Congratulations, you’re now officially more emotionally mature than most other people on the planet!

So to create a space of healing, here is what I recommend:

1. Retreat to a place of sanctuary. Turn off the TV, get away from noisy people, and go somewhere that you feel safe and private. If you had to, you could even do this in a public bathroom or in your car, anywhere that you can feel secure and private.

2. Connect with nature. Light a candle, take a bath, go out for a walk in the woods, or do another task that helps you get centered and connected with nature. Natural elements like water and fire help to relax us and get us out of our heads. If you’re not at home and don’t have access to these things, you could just go outside or open a window to feel the wind.

3. Raise your vibration. Play music or use your own rhythmic breathing to raise your vibration and connect with your spirit. I personally listen to music a lot, so I’m very connected with particular songs that trigger my emotions. I’ve built a playlist for myself that I use whenever I need to do some intensive healing–most of the songs being from certain periods of my life that contain nostalgic value. Music isn’t necessary for everyone, but I find it very helpful, so I recommend it.

Step 4: Initiate the Process of Healing

So now you’ve created a peaceful environment for yourself. Maybe you’re lying in the bath tub with some candles lit and soft music playing. Maybe you’re sitting on the dock at a lake, a rock out in the woods, or on your bed.

Focus on the source of the pain until you are able to elicit an emotional response from yourself. If you’re grieving a deceased loved one, use a photo of them to help you connect with the memory of them until you completely break down.

If you’re doing this right, you should end up crying like a blubbering baby. Do this for as long as you need until you literally cannot cry another tear. Get it all out, all of it! Every last drop until you are hollow inside and have hit rock bottom (thank you, Fight Club).

It’s in this space of being that transformation (personal alchemy) occurs. It’s the process of shifting from one level of consciousness to another, and it is necessary in order to evolve on a spiritual level.

So now you may be thinking, “Damn it, Skyler! I’m a grown man or woman, and I haven’t cried since I was a kid. Crying’s for babies, and I’m an adult!”

Well, let me put it this way. Crying is the most effective method for healing because it covers all of your bodies (mental, spiritual, physical, emotional) at the same time. In fact, I’ll even venture to say that this is precisely what the function of crying actually is–a built-in method to facilitate the process of healing for the biological vessel, not just a way to express an emotional outburst, like we’ve always thought.

So this changes the perception of crying now, doesn’t it? Why do you think it’s so prominent in movies and professional actors are paid millions of dollars to do it on command with complete authenticity?

Because that’s where the magic of transformation lies. That’s how characters in stories progress–they go through the motions of their story arc, and once they hit rock bottom, there’s an emotional catharsis, and afterward they come out a changed person.


So this is the method for healing that I personally use and recommend to others. Of course, there are other ways of doing it, but I think this is the most efficient and effective method (at least that I know of).

If you can’t cry, then you still have a lot of personal work to do. I know this is difficult for most men who have been told their entire lives to suck it up, but if you want to be an emotionally healthy and mature individual, then you need to be able to heal yourself, and crying is the key to the process.

This will not only make life easier for you, but it’s the secret to living longer. If you can effectively combat stress, then you are preventing disease. Simple as that!

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